"The Giver" by Lois Lowry

"The Giver" by Lois Lowry

I read this book a long time ago when I was in junior high, and when I read it I had a hard time following along. I only really remembered one very disturbing part that had me a little iffy about picking it up again.

But I picked it again a few weeks ago because it was my book club title (which I can't attend again this month, it's killing me). After reading several dystopian books in recent years--such as Hunger Games, Uglies, Divergent, etc.--I was surprised to see that this followed the same vein. You learn about the world of Jonas, a boy preparing for his 12th year, when he will be assigned his job in society that he will be trained for and fulfill the until he is deemed too old to continue. You learn this society is unique right off the bat, when Jonas is startled and frightened by an airplane overhead, which is followed by a public announcement on the speakers for the citizens to ignore the errant plane, and that the pilot was sure to be released. To be released is a great shame, banishment from home and culture.

As an adult, I enjoyed the book much more than I did after my first reading. The horrible scene I remembered still broke my heart, but I could see it in a broader scope than I could nearly 20 years ago.

"Allegiant" by Veronica Roth

"Allegiant" by Veronica Roth

Disappointed.  If you want the very short version of my review of Roth's third book in the Divergent series, that's all you need to know.  If you're interested in reading a more detailed review, or if you want to know why I was disappointed, keep reading.

(Spoiler Alerts...read at your own risk...yadda  yadda yadda)

"Allegiant" begins in the aftermath of "Insurgent"'s conclusion, with the revelation to the people within the city that they are secluded from the rest of society because people outside the chain link fence will need the people of the factions to rescue them.  A rebel group, the Allegiant, aim to overthrow Evelyn Johnson's factionless society.  Headed by Cara and Johanna, the Allegiant organize a group to sneak past the security at the fence in order to make contact with the outside world.

Faults:  So, it sounds exciting, right?  But out of the three books in the series, this final installment had the weakest development.  When I'm lost in a good story, I am thoroughly invested in the experience the author has created for me.  I enjoyed that experience in the first two books, but as I was reading "Allegiant" I felt like I was walking through a story with gaping holes everywhere:  ideas that weren't complete, segues that were shaky, characters that weren't appropriately introduced.  One of the biggest faults in the story, I felt, was voice development.  Roth broke away from Tris's solo narration and gave some chapters over to Tobias to tell.  But Tobias didn't have his own individual voice!  His voice was not unique enough to carry his own chapters and his voice was not true to the character I had grown fond of during the first two books.  Frequently during the Tobias chapters I forgot who was telling the story, because he sounded so much like Tris. He'd express himself and I thought, "Really??"  It simply wasn't believable.

So many times while I read this book I thought it felt rushed, like Roth was writing for a deadline instead of investing time in making the story polished and complete.  I almost wondered if she thought, "This is my third book and I have such a strong following.  People are going to buy it even if I don't put as much effort into it."  I know, that's really unfair of me.  But I was sorely let down by the style and development of the story.  And the ending...don't get me started on the ending.  It was not only disappointing, but wholly unnecessary.  Perhaps Roth felt it was justified, but she didn't prove it to me.

Positives:  There were a few shining gems hidden throughout the story.  I love reading books on my phone so I can highlight the articulate ideas and phrases that are pleasing to my senses, the parts that resonate with my heart.  A few examples:

"The first step to loving anyone is to recognize the same evil in ourselves, so we're able to forgive them."
"It seems fitting that the blow would leave a mark on both of us.  That's how the world works."
"I know what people who are stained with violence look like."
"If we stay together, I'll have to forgive you over and over again, if you're still in this, you'll have to forgive me over and over again too."
"I think you're still the only person sharp enough to sharpen someone like me."
"I fell in love with him.  But I don't just stay with him by default as if there's no one else available to me.  I stay with him because I choose to, every day that I wake up, every day that we fight or lie to each other or disappoint each other.  I choose him over and over again, and he chooses me."
"Time can make a place shrink, make its strangeness ordinary."
"Don't confuse your grief with guilt."
"It's what you deserve to hear..., that you're whole, that your worth loving, that you're the best person I've ever met."
"That is not enough of her, but it is also far too much."

There you go, Amy's reflections on "Allegiant."  I know lots of people who agree with my feelings as well as lots of people who really enjoyed it.  If you've read the first two books, you have to read this one to see how it all wraps up.  But be warned, you might not enjoy the end of the ride.

"Heaven is Here" by Stephanie Nielson

"Heaven is Here" by Stephanie Nielson

Does this title look familiar?!  It should.  My dear friend Micaela reviewed it back in February.  I've been curious about it since she reviewed it because it's a memoir, and that's kind of my "thing" lately.  But Micaela wasn't raving about this book, so I was hesitant to dive into something I might not like.  And I have a weird thing about "churchy" books...I usually don't like them, so I find myself skirting away from them.  But, ta-da! it was this month's book club book, so I took a chance on it.

The beginning of the book is a bit syrupy.  I interpret that as Stephanie having the gift of seeing life through rose-colored glasses.  Stephanie lived her entire life, until she was a mother of two, in Provo, Utah.  I lived several years of my life in Utah County, from 9 years old to 22, so I'm pretty familiar with the world she grew up and lived in.  Before my family moved to Utah we lived in St. Louis, so Utah was a huge culture shock for me.  I finally admitted to myself as I read this book (which made me really inspect some deeper parts of my heart and history) that I never really fit in with the Utah scene.  When I moved with my husband and infant daughter to Boise, Idaho, almost 10 years ago, I finally felt like I had found an environment I could thrive in.  (I hope none of my Utah friends are hurt by this confession--if it weren't for you those years would have been wholly unbearable.) It was an environment Stephanie thrived it, but it produced perpetual challenges for me. Once I moved outside of "the bubble," when I came to Idaho, I felt freed from that.  I found more people like me.  (Not that Idaho is wildly different from Utah.  But on the other hand, it is.)

I don't blame Stephanie for her charmed life leading up to the accident. She and I are different people who have lived different lives in different circumstances.  I do not, in any regard, mean to undermine or reduce the significance of her accident and what she has gone through to recover her life.  I loved this book and her story.  I never cried as much in any other book as I did in this one--and for those who know me best, that's saying something.  I am not a cryer.

However, I had experiences earlier in my life that taught me things about who I am and what I'm made of at a younger age than she did.  No, I never went through the harrowing and life-threatening ordeal she went through, not even close.  But because of who I am and the life I had, I learned of lot of those lessons about self-worth and value at an earlier age.  I'm not saying I'm better than anyone because of that, but I was sorry it took a plane accident and months of agonizing recovery for her to learn those essential, divine truths about herself.  But like she says in her epilogue, God has a plan for each of us.  And hers is exceptional.  She's a fighter, she's an overcome-er.  

Yes, I wept during this book.  A lot.  It was so tender.  I cried because I couldn't fathom the physical pain she endured.  I cried because I understood feeling depressed and worthless.  I cried because I have four babies of my own, and have questioned if I'm the mother they deserve.  I cried because she triumphed over the countless, mammoth hurdles in her path.  I cried because of her testimony.  I cried when she felt like she couldn't endure one more day, because I knew she could pull through.  I cried for her husband, who had to be strong for everyone while going through his own hell, because I have felt like I've played that roll in my life as well.  I appreciated how vulnerable and honest Stephanie was.  It is never easy to unearth the deepest, most intimate parts of yourself and expose them to the world.  But after the accident, she never had the luxury of hiding who she was--her face will never blend in with the crowd.  For her to have the strength to share herself as she did in the book, I am grateful.

I thought the title was cheesy before I read the story.  Stephanie shared similar sentiments when her editor suggested "Heaven is Here" for the title.  She said she finally agreed to it because she realized hers is a story of choosing to be happy and thankful despite your circumstances.  And she's right.  But I thought it pertained more to a specific part of the story after her accident.  When she was in the induced coma, Stephanie spent time with her grandmother, who had passed away years before.  But when it was time for Stephanie to wake up, she had a choice:  she could return to her body and her family, or she could stay with her grandmother. And she chose life.  Because here on earth with her beloved husband and children, that was heaven.  We can make our own heaven in our own homes.  It's not easy, as Stephanie and her family well understands, but we can do it.

"The Glass Castle" by Jeannette Walls

"The Glass Castle" by Jeannette Walls

I. forgot. to. review. a. book!  I knew there was one I had read during the busy part of summer that I never wrote about! I recently asked for memoir/biography recommendations on Facebook and my cousin said "The Glass Castle" in a comment, then it hit me like a flash of lightening!  The title I forgot to review!  I'm glad she brought it up, because it really was a moving read.  It's just that my mommy brain has too many holes in it.

"The Glass Castle" is a memoir.  One of Walls' earliest memories is boiling hot dogs for herself for lunch on a gas stove top.  At the tender age of three.  Let that sink in for a minute--a three-year-old handling gas flames and boiling water, unsupervised.  Her little dress catches on fire and her mother rushes in from the other room, where she had been painting.  She puts out the fire but recognizes little Jeannette is in need of medical care.  She borrows a neighbor's car to rush her to the hospital, where she is treated for a few weeks for her burns that cover much of her torso.  Until her father decides he's fed up with doctors and their western medicine.  He decides to check Jeannette out of the hospital "Rex Walls style," grabbing his daughter from her hospital room and heading to a get-away car.  Just one of the anecdotes of Wall's unconventional upbringing.

Unconventional?  Certainly.  Neglectful?  Absolutely.  Abusive?  Too a degree, I'd say.  Many readers would argue that the intensity of the neglect inflicted upon Walls and her three siblings was abuse.  But the children were never beaten by their parents, however, they were put in countless compromising situations that put their mental, emotional, and physical well-being at risk.  Story after story in Walls' arsenal of personal history left my jaw scraping the floor.  I cannot fathom any parent putting their children through the conditions the Walls children had to endure:  not enough food, inadequate clothing, parents splurging money on booze and art supplies instead of providing for basic needs, moving frequently to avoid run-ins with authority, a house so poorly insulated that icicles formed on the inside walls, using a bucket for a toilet inside the kitchen.  It goes on and on and on.  

I was constantly expecting a diagnosis of some mental or emotional disorders for the parents, but it never reached that point.  The children lived with their parents' illogical and selfish choices until they were old enough to fly the coop.  One by one, they left home and went to New York City, where they scraped a living for themselves and finally got to live in a way they chose.  Just when they thought they're getting control of their lives again, Rosemary and Rex follow their children's lead and come to New York, also.  Jeannette has to learn how to deal with her parents in her new life and the new roles she's adapted to.

This book will constantly surprise you.  Truth is stranger than fiction in this case.  And the story-telling is so comfortable for the reader to dive into.  Despite the horrific tales, you can also cheer when Jeannette overcomes her obstacles.  I can't overemphasize how impressed I was with the almost objective way Jeannette recreated her childhood experiences.

"A Tree Grows in Brooklyn" by Betty Smith

"A Tree Grows in Brooklyn" by Betty Smith

When I saw this book at my September book club, my first reaction was how thick it was.  It was nearly 500 pages!  As of yesterday, I was only 150 pages into it, so the past two days have been a whirlwind of flipping pages and ignoring my kids (to a degree).  My 3-year-old's encounter today with an inky stamp left her looking like Ronald McDonald.  Mom's a book addict and hates going to book club with the book unfinished:  guilty as charged.

This title is one I have always heard of, but knew nothing about.  It's the story about little Francie Nolan, a girl who grows up in the slums of Brooklyn, collecting gum wrappers and other rubbish off the streets to trade in for pennies to put in a little tin can bank hammered into the floor of the closet.  The story is largely biographical of Betty Smith.  It follows Francie starting at age 11, and following up through her 16th birthday, shortly after the start of WWI.  I adored the glimpses into life of the Nolan family, despite their constant hardships.  Franice's mother, Katie, had to clean houses to earn their rent, and when her father, Johnny, happened to get a gig as a singing waiter, there was sometimes enough to eat.  But Johnny was an alchoholic and undependable for steady income.  You'll meet Francie's eccentric Aunt Sissy, as well as other Nolan and Rommely family members who probably act a lot like people you're related to.

"A Tree Grows in Brooklyn" is more than a "coming of age" story.  It's a snatch of American history, a story still touching readers 70 years later.  I appreciated the window into Francie's life from nearly 100 years ago.  So much has changed, but so much has remained constant.  I guess when it was first published in 1943 it was considered scandalous, but those "shady" aspects of the book are something I can relate to, because reading these passages echo of controversies my generation sees every day.   Not only could the story be eye-opening to the past and still feel familiar, Smith's writing style is simply classic.  Her gift of story-telling pulls in the reader.  It was comfortable, humorous, heart-breaking.

I told myself I was going to make note of passages as I read this one.  The writing was so lyrical and pictorial I wanted to remember it.  But it was a library book and I read it so fast, that I only wrote down two passages.  So, here they are, two token lines to represent the heart of this treasured book.

"Katie had the same hardships as Johnny and she was nineteen, two years younger.  It might be said that she, too, was doomed.  Her life, too was over before it began.  But there the similarity ended.  Johnny knew he was doomed and accepted it.  Katie wouldn't accept it.  She started a new life where her old one left off" (97).

"'You married him.  There was something about him that caught your heart.  Hang on to that and forget the rest'" (102).

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue...

"Insurgent" by Veronica Roth

"Insurgent" by Veronica Roth

I finished listening to "Insurgent" last week.  For a few days, for a few hours at a time, you could find me hunkered down on my couch with ear buds in my head while working on a crocheting project, occasionally interrupted by children and housework.  It was a very happy time, though, when I could live in this semi-hypnotic state, engulfed by fabulous story-telling and "double crochet, double crochet, double crochet, chain chain, repeat."  Bliss, indeed.

The saga continues for Tris and Four, along with Marcus, Peter, and Caleb, as they arrive in the peaceful headquarters of the Amity faction following the Dauntless attack on Abnegation, courtesy of an Erudite simulation.  But you know a couple of Dauntless won't last long in the peaceful banjo-strummin', hand-holding atmosphere of the Amity farm life.  Especially after Tris learns Marcus knows the secret behind the Erudite attack on Abnegation.  She'll risk almost anything, even her relationship with Four, to find out the truth behind her parents' deaths, .

Throughout "Insurgent," Tris is tortured by memories of some of her actions during the Erudite attack on Abnegation.  She can't forgive herself for the act of self-defense, and she's ashamed to confess to those closest to her, especially Four.  When he does find out, he is injured by the fact she wouldn't trust him enough to tell him herself.  In fact, the majority of this story is Tris being reckless and bristly because of the conflicting emotions she's bottling up inside.  She feels her life is only worth something if she sacrifices herself for the greater good, like those who sacrificed their lives for her survival. 

I loved this follow-up to "Divergent," but I hated how Tris treated Four throughout the book.  But that's a Dauntless romance for you, I guess.  I kept wishing they'd just kiss and make-up and she'd stop picking fights.  By the end she got all her ducks in a row.

(I listened to this one on audio book, and I have to say, the narrator did a FANTASTIC job when Tris is given the Amity peace serum.  It was probably funny in print, but it was over-the-top hilarious hearing the narrator's ditzy voice inflections when Tris is under the influence.  The. Best.)

The set-up for "Allegiant" has left me WAY too excited for its release.  I know I should have waited to start this series, but what can you do?!  Oh, re-read the books, I guess!